MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report Report) —- King Russia, Vladamir Putin, is “mad” at the Saudi royal family for making the potty puppet do the pee pee dance without asking him first, an aide to Putin confirmed on Wednesday.
According to the aide, who spoke on condition of anonymity, King Russia is “mad.” The pee pee dance is that dance kids do when they gotta splash the porcelain with yellow water but can’t do it because they are not in a bathroom.
“At one point, Putin was watching the news and saw the potty puppet doing the pee pee dance,” the aide said. “He pulled the TV out of the wall and hurled it at the toilet, where the pee pee dance belongs.”
According to diplomatic sources, the Saudis have reached out to Russia in the hope of striking some sort of potty-puppet-sharing agreement, but King Russia is mad. He is the self-proclaimed Potty King, King of the Potty and the Potty Puppet.
“He’s my tiny potty puppet, and only I can make him dance,” Putin reportedly said whilst peeing into a toilet.